


The Long Run

by steamymixedveggies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crushes, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute Yamaguchi Tadashi, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Femboy Yamaguchi, Flirting, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio Friendship, Hinata Shouyou & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Horny Teenagers, Implied Sexual Content, Intoxication, Jealous Tsukishima Kei, Jealous Yamaguchi Tadashi, Jealousy, M/M, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Modern Era, POV First Person, POV Tsukishima Kei, Partying, Pining, Pining Tsukishima Kei, Platonic Cuddling, Plot, Possessive Behavior, Protective Tsukishima Kei, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Teasing, Teenagers, TeruYama, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Underage Drinking, Yachi Hitoka & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27364786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steamymixedveggies/pseuds/steamymixedveggies
Summary: Tsukishima longs for his bestfriend, Yamaguchi, but has to watch him fall in love with everyone else.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Terushima Yuuji/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 95





	1. Chapter 1

When I first befriended Yamaguchi Tadashi he was just a frail snot nosed kid getting kicked around by some school bullies. Back then we didn’t have a care for anything but going on adventures and making forts. When middle school came along we transitioned from innocent children into smelly, video game-playing preteens that learned a new word: sex. Now of course we weren't participating in this new  _ sex _ because we were literally 13 and complete nerds that faded entirely into the background of our school. Nobody bothered the two dweebs sitting in the corner of the cafeteria by themselves and we didn’t put in any effort to bother them either, that is, until highschool hit. 

Something changed in Yamaguchi that didn’t happen to me. His shorts started to get shorter and shorter every week and eventually turned into skirts. His once acne-ridden face was now dusted with blush and his eyes were sharpened with eyeliner. His timid soft spoken voice became flirty and girly. But the change that stuck out the most to me was that people were starting to notice him-  _ boys  _ were starting to notice him.

Anyone could tell that Yamaguchi had a type- tall, strong, masculine, and always a complete  _ asshole.  _ Every party we went to Yams always located the biggest douchebag, fluttered his big eyelashes at him and won him over by the end of the night. I, of course, always sat in the corner by myself and watched it go down, clenching my teeth the whole time. I told myself that going to those parties with him wasn’t good for my mental wellbeing, but if he ever got hurt by one of those guys and I wasn’t there, I would never forgive myself. Yams also almost always had to stay over my house afterwards because his parents were incredibly strict and if he came home drunk he would never leave the house again- which was another plus for me. Also, shamefully, I liked the free beer. 

“Tsukki!” Yams sang as he plopped down across from me at the lunch table.

“Yeah?”

“There’s this party some third-year’s throwing tonight and we just got invited,”

“You mean  _ you _ got invited..”

“No,  _ we,”  _ he said while motioning his hand between us. I squinted my eyes at him, “....well I asked if you could come too and they said yes”

“That means they don’t want me there,” I said in an annoyed tone.

“But  _ I’ll  _ be there and  _ I _ want you there…”

“Yeah you want me there so you have a place to stay after”

“That’s not true!” he whined.

“Then where are you staying”

“...your house”

“Yeah, exactly”

“But Tsukki,  _ please _ come with me. I’m being serious, I want you there. Even Hinata and Kageyama are going, don’t you want to see them?”

I actually took a second to think about it but then remembered how drunk Hinata is even more irritating that regular Hinata, which was hard to believe.

“Uh, no.”

“Come  _ on” _

“Why should I go anyway, just for you to leave me all alone while you go hook up with some guy?”

“I  _ promise  _ this time I won’t leave you alone. You have my word,” he held up his hand like he was giving an oath then looked at me with his big puppy eyes.

“Okay,  _ fine _ , but I’m holding you to that”

“Yay! Thank you Tsukki! This is going to be so fun you won’t regret it!”

I smiled at him but in the back of my mind I knew he would break his promise. One look at some hunky third year and I would be left in the dust. But I figured I could always spark a dreaded conversion with Kageyama so what the hell? Plus drunk Yamaguchi loved to cuddle while falling asleep and that was in the forefront of my mind. 

_

I slouched against my headboard waiting for Yamaguchi to arrive at my house. He was usually punctual but on nights we were going out, he always took a little extra time to make himself look perfect.

I looked down at my phone confirming we had a ride home,

**Daichi Sawamura:** Yeah I can come pick u up, what time?

**Tsukishima Kei:** hm maybe like 12? idrk yet

**Daichi Sawamura:** Just not too late ok? Lmk

**Tsukishima Kei:** thx a bunch

There was a sudden knock at my door and before I could answer, Yamaguchi walked in. We went to parties almost every weekend but every time I was taken aback by how he looked. He was in a pink skirt with a cropped purple sweater laying inches above it, exposing a bit of his freckled torso. His eyes were dewy and sparkly and his bangs were held back with two clips, both in the shape of hearts. 

“You look good,” I said, “I like the glitter.”

His lips stretched into a big smile and he gleamed at me,

“You look good too Tsukki!” I looked down at my old baggy jeans and plain black hoodie.

“This is what I wear every week,” I mumbled.

“Yeah, and you look good every week,” he said in a flirty tone. I could tell he was antsy to leave and excited for the bachelor he would score tonight.

“Come on, let’s go”. Since my brother left for college, my mom usually drove us. She was not really that strict and didn’t mind driving us if we managed to get a ride home.

_

“You boys have fun and be safe please, love you!” My mom yelled as we stepped out of the car. 

“Thank you so much as always. Don’t worry I’ll look after Kei for you!” Yams joked, but we both knew it would be the other way around.

I waved her a goodbye and she pulled away, leaving us to find the others.

“Hinata says they’re already inside,” Yamaguchi said while looking down at his messages on his phone. 

We walked towards the entrance of the house, passing groups of smokers and strangers as we went. Yams was right because as soon as we walked into the place a grinning Hinata and a stone faced Kageyama greeted us. 

“Yaamaaguchhiii!!” Hinata sang as he struggled to put an arm around the boy.

I looked at Kageyama with an annoyed expression. How was he already this giddy?

Almost reading my mind, Kageyama spoke up, “He already had two shots”. 

This was going to be a long night.

_

We all stood together with drinks in our hands while we discussed the upcoming volleyball season. Well actually it was more like Kageyama and I talking while the others listened. Usually Hinata wouldn’t be able to stop yammering about volleyball but right now he was preoccupied with the mango flavored drink in his hand. 

I glanced at Yams and could see his eyes were fixated on something in the distance. Turning around to get an idea at what it was, I wasn’t surprised to see that there was a boy staring just as intensely back at him. He was pretty muscular, had bleached hair with an overgrown undercut beneath it and had tiny black gauges stretching his ears. I could slightly recognize him and I thought I remembered his name being  _ Terushima _ or something. My eyes moved back to my friend and I could see he was eager to go and talk to him. 

“Hey, that guy over there is looking at you,” I said between clenched teeth.

He snapped out of his trance and looked at me with wide eyes, “Oh, really? Hehe, I didn’t notice!” He most definitely noticed.

“Do you wanna go talk to him?” I begrudged, knowing what the answer already was.

“Uh...um..I..uh,” he trailed on, “But I promised you I wouldn’t leave you alone”

At least he was putting in some effort.

“But I’m not alone, I’m here with Kageyama and Hinata,” I said while I beat myself up in my head. I selfishly didn’t want him to go, but I also knew that’s what he wanted and sometimes I tried to be a good friend. 

“Really?” he gleamed, “If it’s ok with you…”

And with that he skipped over to the mysterious second year. I watched as the man hungrily looked at Yams up and down, making sure to soak in every inch of his body. I winced and turned around to continue my conversation with Kageyama. 

Soon one beer turned into three and I looked back to see Yam’s progress with his catch. They had made their way over to the couch, Yamaguchi sitting on the arm rest with his legs swinging off the edge as Teru hovered over him. They were closer now too, their heads dangling only a few inches between one another. But my blood went cold when I glanced down at Teru’s hand gripped onto Yam’s thigh, rubbing circles onto his soft skin with his thumb. His hand lingered a little too close to the edge of his skirt and it  _ killed  _ me.

Completely cutting off Kageyama, I stepped towards them.

“Hey are you ok?” I whispered to Yams, “Is this guy bothering you?” I shot an

intimidating look at the stranger and he looked back at me with the same sternness. 

“Yeah Tsukki, I’m  _ fine _ ,” I wasn’t expecting him to sound so- annoyed. I mean yeah he was tipsy but couldn’t he tell that I was just looking out for him?

I stared into his eyes with a worried expression and motioned down to the hand that was now gripping his thigh so hard his skin bubbled beneath it.

“Tsukki, why don’t you go see what Kageyama’s doing?” his eyes stung into mine, telling me to  _ please leave _ . 

“Ok whatever, just get me when you’re ready to leave” I stomped back over to the orange and black pair, who were now taking some more shots.

“I bet I can do more than you!” Hinata hollered, egging on Kageyama.

“Bullshit...you chug slower than you spike,” he spat back. 

I wasn’t gonna lie, Hinata didn’t look his best. His feet swung all over the place while his speech jumbled into one, but I wasn’t going to say anything. Besides, I already had all my attention on someone else. When I turned around to check on him and his new interest again, he was gone. In a panic, I scanned the room, searching for his familiar freckled face. I finally caught him mid going up the stairs, dragging the much bigger boy behind him by the hand. 

The look on Teru’s face made me sick. I seethed seeing his lustful eyes look at my best friend as his strong hand was placed in Yam’s delicate one. He didn’t deserve to have him, what was so special about him anyways? He didn’t look after him, he didn’t comfort him as he cried, he didn’t grow up next to him, he didn’t walk him home everyday. What did he have to give him? What did he have that I didn’t? 


	2. Chapter 2

Step by step they both walked up the stairs...gross. I couldn’t bear to think about what they would be doing up there together. I tried to shove those thoughts deep down and to distract myself with my surroundings. Looking over to Hinata and the setter, I could see that they were still downing drinks as a part of some stupid contest. I watched as the redhead took one after the other up to his sloppy lips and  _ chug _ , liquid streaming out the corners of his mouth. Kageyama, however, was going much slower now and started to cringe at the sensation in his throat. Then, in one swift motion, he clutched his stomach and slammed his drink onto the ground, sending the half-full can spurting liquid in all directions. Hinata whooped in victory, stumbled a bit and then fell to the ground, laying in the sticky puddle. Someone hooked their arm under his and tried to help him back up, but he just dropped back onto the floor, hitting his head. 

Almost instantly, the mood of the room changed. The joyous, upbeat aura stopped and stared at the young boy laid on the floor. He took his cold clammy hand and placed it on his forehead, then turned over and threw up. Kageyama froze as he stared at his friend laying on the floor.

“Kageyama!” I shouted, “get him off the ground”.

Just his eyes moved as they shot to look into mine, full of fear. I stood up from my chair and rushed over to Hinata.

“Hinata, are you ok?” I pleaded.

“Uh...uh...Tsu-Tsukishima?” he groaned.

“Yeah, are you alright?”

“Uh...I-I...Can you t-take me ho-home?” he stuttered.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea,”  _ Sometimes  _ I’m not an asshole. Kageyama soon snapped out of his trance and already had the boy hoisted around his shoulder and headed to the couch. I dialed Daichi.

“ _ Hello?” _

“Hey, it’s Tsukishima...uh...Hinata is throwing up and needs to go home...mind if you come a little early?” I asked.

He took in a worried breath, “ _ Yeah..yeah ok..I’m on my way right now. Make sure you give him some water” _

“Yeah, Kageyama’s got it”

“ _ Ok good, see you in a minute” _

I sighed in relief as I turned back around to look at the pair. Hinata had his head leaning in the crook of Kageyama’s armpit and he had his eyes closed. I knew he would be fine once he went to bed but it was no secret that he needed to go back home right away. I sat for a second and processed the situation as I finished off my beer. Suddenly, the bottle stood still against my mouth as I realized what I had to do next- go get Yamaguchi so we could leave. I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned as I pleaded to every God there might be,  _ please, please, please let him be in front of me when I open my eyes so I don’t have to go up there. _ However, when I peeked my eyes open, an empty chair stood in front of me.  _ Fuck, _ I  _ really  _ don’t want to do this. I dropped my head to the ground and begrudgingly stood back up from my chair and towards the stairs. It felt like my feet were twenty pounds each as I stomped up to my complete utter embarrassment. 

Not even ten steps onto the hardwood of the upstairs and I could  _ hear  _ him.  _ God fucking damnit Yams, why are you so fucking loud?  _ I shuffled towards the door and pressed my ear against it- yep, definitely Yamaguchi. After taking a long, deep breath, I knocked on the door.

“Uh, we’re kinda busy in here,” hollered a low voice from inside.

“Yeah,  _ genius _ ,” I spat, “Yamaguchi, it’s me, we have to-”

“Tsukki?” he yelled between heavy breaths. 

“Yeah, we have to go-” 

Again I was cut off by something I didn’t expect.

“Tsukki..ah..Tsukki!” he  _ moaned _ , “Tsukki...oh my  _ god _ ..ah...Tsukki!”

_ Why was he moaning my name right now?  _ I banged on the door louder this time, trying to drown out his sounds. 

“Yams, fucking stop it, we have to go,” I cringed at the noises he answered me with, “Right now. We have to leave  _ right now, _ ” I was yelling  _ loud _ .

“Fuck off asshole,” the low voice responded, “We’ll be done soon, then he’s  _ all yours”. _

My phone buzzed in my pocket, it was Kageyama.

“Yeah?” I answered.

_ “Where did you go? Are you with Yamaguchi? Daichi’s outside, we’re trying to leave,”  _ he breathed in a worried tone.

“Yeah, I’m..uh..trying to get Yamaguchi now”

“ _ Can you hurry up?” _

“I’m trying my best here ok? I’m trying”

“ _ Try harder” _ Then he hung up.

I took another lung-filling breath, “Yams, come on, Hinata’s throwing up we have to go”

I heard some ruffling inside, then I faint “ _ Where do you think you’re going?”,  _ then a crash against the door as Yams popped out. His hair was all matted up and his skirt was twisted the wrong way. The worst part, however, was that he had such a nasty grin on his face, I wanted to slap it off of him. 

“Pleased with yourself or something?” I spat at him.

“Relax, I came out didn’t I?” he said smugly.

I snatched his arm and dragged him towards the stairs.

“ _ Maybe I’ll see you later _ ,” he chimed at Teru while reaching an arm out to him, “we’ll finish what we started” 

The man huffed out a chuckle and went back into the room, probably to finish the job himself. 

“ _ Are you out of your fucking mind?”  _ I snapped.

“What?” he said with a girlish giggle.

“You are so unbelievable, you know that?”

“Tsukki, calm down ok? I came out,”

“ _ Yeah,  _ after like five minutes of calling for you,” 

“Well I’m sorry, but I was  _ busy… _ ” he said in a bratty tone.

“What _.. _ too busy  _ fucking _ that you couldn’t come out so we could leave? Because  _ your  _ fucking friend- not  _ my  _ fucking friend- could get home because he’s so sick he can’t stand up straight? Were you too busy  _ fucking _ that you’re making everyone wait on you out in the car so you can fucking cum? No yeah, sorry, you’re right,  _ Yamaguchi _ , that’s  _ so much _ to ask right? I’m  _ sorry  _ I didn’t know you cared more about some  _ douchebag _ than your own fucking friends,” I spat in one  _ long _ breath. 

And with that he shut up and let me drag him down through the house and into Daichi’s car. Everyone was already in there waiting and all looked up to stare at us. I didn’t say anything, not even an apology, I just dropped down in the front seat and pushed Yams into the back. 

We sat in silence for an eternal minute, then Yams spoke up in a weak voice, “I’m sorry for making you guys wait for me”.

Another quick silence. And then a word from Daichi, “It’s ok Yamaguchi, you’re here now and that’s all that matters”

I rolled my eyes so far back into my skull that I saw my past but remained mute. We sat in that emptiness until the car rolled up to the front of my house. 

I sprung out of my seat and slammed my door closed, saying a thank you to Daichi somewhere in between. Yamaguchi remained in the back and looked up at me through the window with unsure eyes.

I motioned my hand to him, “Come on, you too,” After all, no matter how mad I was at him, I couldn’t let him go home looking like that. Again,  _ sometimes  _ I’m not an asshole.

He sheepishly opened his car door and tiptoed behind me to the front of my house. As I cracked the door open, we were met with my mom in the kitchen.

“You boys are home early...hope everything’s ok?” she questioned.

“Yeah, uh, Hinata had to go home so we had to bounce,” I responded.

“Oh ok, you boys get a good night sleep then, alright?”

“We will! Also thank you so much again for letting me stay over, have a good night,” Yamaguchi sang, then cautiously followed me to my room. 

_

He slouched down onto the corner of my bed as I ruffled through my drawers. He didn’t dare make a sound as he sat there patiently waiting for my next move. I grabbed one of my sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants and chucked them at him, hearing a gasp as they were caught in his arms. 

“Ts-Tsukki?” he whispered, breaking our silence since the car.

“Hm?” I grunted, refusing to open my mouth for I was afraid of blowing up on him right then and there.

“I’m sorry…” he quivered. 

“Whatever, like Daichi said, you at least made it out,” I said between my teeth.

“No...not for that,”

“Then for what?”

“For...uh...saying your name,” he whispered so quietly I almost missed it.

“Oh,” 

I cringed as I remembered him behind that door,  _ moaning _ my name.

“I don’t know what I was-”

“Forget it,” I snapped. 

Time stood still for a moment with us both awkwardly sitting in the open air. My mind went back in time to only about a half hour ago. Why did he _moan_ my name? Was it part of some sick joke between him and Teru? Or was it something not even he understood? All I knew was that I was mad at myself. Mad that I _enjoyed_ it so much. How could I be so selfish? While everyone was sitting out there all worried waiting for us, I was standing outside that door secretly wishing he would pant my name again and again. Maybe it was the universe’s way of reminding me that it should’ve been _me_ in that room with him, not some stranger. Why did he have to painfully remind me that it wasn’t me in that room with him? I squeezed my eyes shut as I wished for that feeling back, fuck it if it’s selfish, I wanted the feeling of that false reality again. That false reality of me being swapped with Teru for just that moment. I shot my eyes back open as I was brought back to real time by the sound of Yamaguchi standing up from the bed. 

I was facing forward as I stared at him now only in his underwear. My eyes trailed up from his feet to his thighs where my gaze rested for a bit. Faint scratches and deep red marks laid scattered across his soft flesh and I shoved the thoughts of that  _ douche _ making them down deep into my mind. My stare trailed up to his belly, it was flush with more red marks and freckles as he pulled the sweatpants I gave him up right below his belly button. My eyes passed and trailed around his irritated nipples and then landed on his smooth shoulders, now being covered with one of my sweatshirts. Finally, as slow as I could, I glanced up at his mouth and then his eyes. They were smudged with black and shimmer and were red from tears. But what took me by surprise was not his running makeup, but that his eyes were locked with mine. Letting go of my hard exterior, I melted into his stare as he stood there and fell into my own. It was like it was the first time we ever actually  _ looked  _ at eachother. It was like his stare was shouting at me,  _ look at me! Look at the way I let this complete stranger mark my body! Look what he did to this body you’ve been looking at your whole life! Look at me and picture him sloppily on top of me, defiling my pure skin! Look at me and imagine the noises I made in return! Look at me and see exactly where he put his mouth and hands on my body and wish it were you! Look at me Tsukki and wish it were you!  _

_ Look at me Tsukki and wish it were you! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys I hope you're enjoying this :) this is my first time writing on ao3 and my first time writing fanfic since middleschool...lol...i'll try to update as much as i can :)


	3. Chapter 3

_ Look at me Tsukki and wish it were you! _

We stayed that way for a little bit, our eyes interlocked and silently understanding each other. But then the jealousy bubbled over into a sadness. I was the one to break the silence.

“Why?” I sighed, “why do you let guys just use you?”

He was still stuck in the silence from before and had a look on his face like he wanted to live in it forever. His dark lashes blinked and he broke our long stare, letting his vision touch the floor. 

“Well who says I’m not using them back?” After I didn’t immediately respond, he elaborated, “they use me for sex and I use them for their attention,” he slid towards me while reconnecting our gaze, “do you know what it’s like, to know some stranger would do  _ anything _ just to have me for a minute?” he sighed, “and besides...who said I don’t like the sex?”

“You mean you  _ like it _ ?”

“Uh...yeah? That’s supposed to be news?  _ Hormonal teenage boy likes sex?” _

“That’s not what I meant…”

I desperately wanted to take that last statement back. I didn’t doubt that he liked the  _ sensation  _ of sex, I doubted that he liked having sex with someone who wasn’t  _ me.  _

“What did you mean then?” he innocently asked, not being able to read my selfish mind.

“I..uh..just meant like...you know,” I mustered.

“ _ Uh..I...uh,” _ he mocked, “no, I  _ don’t  _ know actually”

“Like I guess I just don’t get how you could be so vulnerable with someone you don’t know is all…”

“As opposed to someone I  _ do _ know?” a devilish smirk spread across his face, “What? You mean someone like  _ you? _ ”

And that was the statement that literally killed me. Like I literally think I died. It was like he unsheethed a comically large knife out of his pocket and stabbed me in the heart. 

I attempted to backtrack, “ _ No-o,”  _ my voice cracked. I could feel a hot burning sensation brush the tips of my ears. His smirk turned into a big toothy smile as he giggled. 

“Why do you have to say that and make it all awkward, huh?” I snapped, trying to keep a straight face. He broke down into a real laugh this time and I punched his shoulder, “hey,  _ shut up _ and take it back”

“ _ Take what back?”  _ I hated him right now.

“What you said!”

“ _ Wait, did I say something?”  _ he smacked his hand onto his chest and made a gawking face at me _.  _ Then he burst out into a laugh and let himself fall back onto the bed.

“Ok, bedtime now I guess…” I said, desperately trying to end the dreadful scenario I was in.

Yamaguchi looked up at me with a look I couldn’t quite pin-point. His gaze dripped with what looked like sadness but his mouth was still in a slight smirk. I stared back, the redness in my face finally cooling down as I tucked myself under my blankets. He did the same, bringing my comforter up to reach his nose. He sighed and again shot his eyes into mine, but this time I knew exactly what he wanted. If I knew anything about my best friend, it’s that he loved to be cradled while still riding off the tail of his drunkenness.

I stretched my arm over his pillow and allowed him to snuggle into my chest. His head rested against my clothed skin, rising with my breath. He fluttered his big doe eyes shut as I switched off my lamp. I could stay in this moment for a lifetime and be satisfied.

As my eyes drifted shut and I prepared for sleep, my mind stayed awake. Does he know? He knows. He has to know by now, I make it so painfully obvious. If he knows, then he’s an asshole. If he knows and  _ still _ moaned my name like that there’s no chance he’s not an asshole. Then he must not know, because Yamaguchi can’t be an asshole. But then again this past year he’s changed so much. Maybe he does know and he’s teasing me just so I stick around. So I stick around just in case he were to look me in the eyes and say-  _ Tsukki just kiss me already. Can’t you tell I’ve been waiting for you to kiss me all this time? _

I shot my eyes back open to look at the boy, soft snores now escaping out of his mouth. He still had his makeup on and it rubbed onto my shirt as he leaned deeper and deeper into my chest. 

“Yams,” I hushed, so softly as not to wake him, “I’ll wait for you for forever, just let me know all this waiting won’t go to waste”

_

I winced as a stream of sunlight shined in my face, waking me up. I groaned and went to stretch but was stopped by the weight of an entire body on top of me. Throughout the night, Yamaguchi managed to progress from laying his head on my chest to wrapping all his limbs around me like a little monkey. Normally, I would stay and savor the rare moment, but I had to pee-  _ really bad.  _ I whapped him in the head to wake him up.

“Ow...what the fuck..” he groaned while kneading his eyes. 

“Get up, I have to pee,”

“Ugh,” he rolled over and pulled my blanket over his entire body.

After relieving myself I stared at my reflection in the mirror hanging above the sink. I looked down at my shirt which now had black smudges right smack in the middle of my chest.  _ I really hope that comes out in the wash,  _ I thought. I rinsed my hands and stumbled back to my room. 

Of course when I got back Yamaguchi was already back asleep. Gripping a pillow in my hand, I chucked it at him, and he responded with a whine.

“ _ Tsukki!  _ Stop it...I’m  _ sleeping,” _

Another pillow came crashing down onto him.

“Ugghh...just a few more-”

_ Whoosh,  _ another pillow. 

“Ok, ok, I’m up, I’m up” he sat up and shot me a deadpan look. I smacked another pillow against his annoyed expression.

“ _ Oof, ok, ok ,enough already!”  _ I finally let out a giggle and he sat there unimpressed. 

“Ok come on, you want coffee?” I asked.

“Yeah I  _ need _ it”

_

We sat across from each other in my kitchen, our coffees steaming in between us. Neither me or Yamaguchi were morning people so we usually spent our mornings together silently scrolling through our phones. I guess the slight hangover didn’t help either. I cringed as I watched Yams sprinkle  _ three _ packets of sugar into his drink, take a sip, and then put in one more. However, I didn’t make an effort to call it out.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, we were interrupted by Yamaguchi’s phone going off. Then going off again. Then  _ again _ . He perked up at the noise and smiled immediately after he clicked on the notification. His thumbs happily danced against his screen as he giggled under his breath. This caught my attention, of course, and I had a bad feeling at who it was- Terushima.

“What’s so special about that guy anyway?” I said a little harshly.

“I dunno…” he responded, his eyes not moving from his screen.

“Its just last time I saw him nothing really stuck out that much. Is he really that interesting?”  _ Real subtle Kei. _

“Hm? Little nosy don’t you think?”

“No...I’m just trying to figure this guy out”

He huffed, “hmmmm, let’s see...what’s so special about Yuji…”

_ Yuji?!  _ Since when were they so close?

“I mean he’s a really good kisser,” he smacked. 

“Uh huh…”

“No like,  _ really good. _ I was like, damn, I thought  _ I _ knew what I was doing but like  _ oh my god  _ could this guy  _ kiss… _ ”

That’s not what I really wanted to hear. 

“I don’t know, he was all like..” he began to mime making out with his hands and face. “And I was all like…” he continued to act it out while making kissy noises.

“Ok, that’s enough..” I groaned.

“And I don’t know, he seems to  _ really  _ like me. Like even after we were interrupted,” he looked at me awkwardly,”he still wants to see me again. Usually they get what they want and leave.” 

“Maybe he just wants to finish what he started”

“Yeah you’re probably right...but I have a feeling that he wants more,” he stared more intensely at his phone and then shrugged, “I figure if we meet and he just wants to have sex, then we’ll just have sex. But if he wants to go out to dinner, we’ll go out to dinner. Or maybe even both. Either way it’s a win-win for me”

“Yeah I guess,”  _ fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck you Yamaguchi. Oh my god fuck you.  _

All the sudden he gasped and smiled.

“He’s having a party this weekend at his place!” he gleamed. Then he furrowed his eyebrow in frustration.

“What? What’s wrong”

“Uh...nothing,” he responded.

“No you have to tell me”

“Uh...hm...uh,” he looked at me apologetically, “he...uh...said you couldn’t come”

_ Are you fucking kidding me? _

“Oh” 

“Don’t worry, you’ll be there,” and with that his thumbs started to drum against his screen once again.

“What are you saying to him?”

“Hold on,” he stopped typing and lifted the phone up to his ear, "Hi Yuji! Yeah I’m good, I’m great. Just wanted to call you to tell you that Tsuikishima  _ will be _ attending your party- yeah no, I understand. Yeah, but the thing is...I won’t be there unless he’s with me...so it’s either both of us or none of us...yeah I know, I know, yeah I was there too. He’s really great once he warms up to you...yeah...ok...that’s what I thought...ok see you Saturday then! Bye bye!”

_ What the fuck was that? _

“Good news! He said you could come!” he said with a big, satisfied smile spread across his face.

“You know you can be such a spoiled brat sometimes right?”

“Yeah, I know” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyy guyssss!! i actually really had fun writing this chapter...lmk if you guys liked it too :*


	4. Chapter 4

Yamaguchi was not there yet when I first sat down at the lunch table. As I was there alone, it gave me some time and space to think. Am I really going to go to Terushima’s party this weekend? He made it very obvious that he doesn’t want me there. Was it really worth it to go if I knew I would have to be tortured watching Yams cling to him the whole night? I’m not going. I can’t. I can’t! Ugh. But I wonder what Yamaguchi will wear...I’m sure he’ll want to impress Teru.  _ No.  _ I’m not going. I’ll just tell Yams that something came up. No he’ll never believe that...he’s my only friend. Maybe I’ll say I’m sick. Yeah, I’m sick cough cough...so sick. But then where will he stay afterwards? He’ll be forced to stay over  _ his  _ house. And then they’ll cuddle in  _ his  _ bed. He probably doesn’t even know how Yamaguchi likes to cuddle. And he’ll do it all wrong and Yams will be uncomfortable all night. Doesn’t he know that he likes to lay on chests because he likes to hear the heartbeat? I’m the only person that knows how he likes it...wait has Yamaguchi cuddled with someone else like he cuddles with me? No, it’s not the same...right? Like I’m the only person that does it correctly...right? Right? Rig-

“Hey can I have your cookies?”

I jumped out of my daze, “What?”

“Your cookies? I’ll give you my pretzels..” 

I shot my eyes up- oh, it was Yamaguchi.

“Yeah...yeah just take them,” I said while shuffling my animal cookies off to him. He grabbed them and started to nibble.

“So, Terushima’s party…” I began to ask.

“Mhm?” he muffled, his mouth full with crumbs.

“What’s the situation?” 

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, I feel a little weird going since he literally said it himself that he doesn’t want me there”

“I don’t think it’s that he doesn’t  _ want  _ you there. I think he’s just a little intimidated by you is all”

“Intimidated by me?”

“Yeah you know, you’re tall and always have this scowl on your face- no offense- and obviously you and I are really close. Maybe he’s even jealous of you”

Jealous of  _ me?!  _ If only he knew how backwards that was.

“Or maybe he’s mad that I interrupted you guys…” I replied. 

“No, I think he’s over that by now”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah I’m pretty sure”

“I don’t know...he seemed a little crushed”

“You don’t even know him”

“I know enough”

“What’s your problem with him anyways? Why do you hate him so much?”

“I don’t hate him, he hated me first” I spat.

“No, he didn’t. How could he hate you if he doesn’t even know you? What has he done to make you think he doesn’t like you?”

“Uh...I dunno...maybe telling you he doesn’t want me over his house...that was a pretty big hint”

“Have you ever thought that maybe it’s because you create such a weird tension when you’re around him and I? Like you’re trying to assert your dominance over him or something?”

“Well, you’re right, I don’t like him. I don’t know it just seems a little pervy to me when someone you met ten minutes ago starts feeling you up in front of everyone”

“Is that what this is about?”

“You don’t think that was a _ little  _ bit weird?”

“No, I don’t. And if I did then I would’ve told him to stop. You don’t have to look after me all the time. We’re literally the same age but you treat me like a kid sometimes. And it’s even weirder considering that I’m more experienced with these things than you”

“You could’ve left that last part out”

“But it’s true! Do you think I’m stupid or something? Do you think I don’t know what he was doing when he was gripping my thigh? I’m not  _ dumb _ ...that’s why I lead him up the stairs in the first place”

My leg started to bounce up and down underneath the table as my frustration rose. Why does he have to be so difficult?

“I guess I’m just confused” I spat.

“About what?”   
“What exactly you see in him. He’s a douchebag”

“He’s not a douchebag!” his voice started to rise, “You literally don’t know him at all, Tsukki. Why can’t you just let me have this? I think this guy actually  _ likes me-  _ and I think I actually like him  _ back.  _ He’s been texting me these past few days and keeps telling me how excited he is to see me. Why can’t you see that I’m happy and leave it at that? Why are you making this so difficult for me?”

Then I actually genuinely started to feel bad. 

“I’m sorry that I’m being a good friend and looking out for you”

“Was that your attempt at an apology? Try again. Without the attitude this time”

I took in a deep breath, “Ok I’m sorry for real. I guess I was just trying to look after you but went a little too far. I just don’t know him and don’t know exactly what his intentions with you are. But if you seem to trust him, then I guess I do too”

“That’s better. But hey, it’s ok, I know you’re just worried about me and I guess it’s good sometimes to have someone worry about you” he took a second to look at me, then continued, “but I really want you to come with me this weekend. It won’t be the same without you”

I groaned, “I’ll go but it’s not gonna be much fun for me when you leave me behind to go suck face”

“Oh! I forgot to tell you,” his face lit up, “Kuroo’s going too!” 

“Kuroo?” I perked up. 

“Yeah, you guys get along, right? You’re always practicing after school and stuff”

“Yeah I like Kuroo. But we’ve never like  _ hung out  _ outside of volleyball”

“Then it should be fun right?” 

“Yeah I guess so,” I was actually excited to be able to spend some time with Kuroo and be able to have someone to talk to when Yamaguchi eventually abandoned me. 

“Good, now I don’t have to feel so guilty when I leave to go  _ suck face _ ”

Guilty? So maybe he did realize what he had been doing all this time. I had always just assumed that he was oblivious to how I felt. I couldn’t tell if that was a bad thing or a good thing. A good thing to know that he actually cared about how I was affected by his actions. Or a bad thing that he still did it anyway…

“ _ Yamaguchi! _ ” I heard someone yell, “Oh my god! I got your text saying you needed to tell me something,” 

My eyes shot up to the girl who was now sitting across from me. Yachi and Yamaguchi had gotten close throughout this year through volleyball and made friends with each other pretty quickly. They always did homework together at Yam’s place afterschool on weekdays and one time they actually invited me to come along. That was the first and the last time because I literally lost my  _ mind _ having to listen to them giggle and gossip together. Yamaguchi for some reason was always on full battery around her. He was still the same Yams I’ve always known him as but just heightened to the max. It was so...annoying. 

“Oh my god, Yachi, oh my god it was  _ incredible.” _

“Tell me everything. Every detail. Every word. Every breath you took. Everything,”

“Ok ok so I was at this party, right...and I saw this  _ guy.  _ And you know, I was just looking at him but didn’t think anything of it. Until…”

“Until? Sorry, go on,”

“Until he started to look  _ back _ . And I’m not gonna lie...I got like, butterflies? Cus this guy’s like  _ super hot _ , like Yachi, I want to emphasize to you how  _ hot _ this guy is,”

“Well, describe him to me please,”

“Ok ok. First, he’s got this blonde hair that’s like shaved underneath...kinda like Coach Ukai but like instead of being on a 40 year old drunk it’s on a hot 17 year old boy. And then he has these eyes that like stare so intensely at you it’s like he’s burning a hole through your head,”

“Wow,”

“No no it gets better. This guy...oh my god you’re not ready…”

“ _ Tell me!” _

“He has a  _ tongue ring,” _

_ “Oh my god,” _

_ “ _ I know right? Like I died, Yachi, I died,”

This conversation was killing me.  _ Can they go a single sentence without saying “like” a hundred times? _

“Then what happened?” she egged.

“Yeah, Yamaguchi,  _ then what happened?” _ I mocked while resting my chin into my hands.

“Tsukki, enough out of you,” he snapped, “anyways, basically I eventually made my way over to him. And we were talking about like stupid stuff that I don’t even remember but  _ then _ , he lead me over to the couch,”

“The couch?”

“Yeah, the couch. That’s when things really started to heat up,” he was looking at her with big wide eyes.

“Oh my god is this story almost done?” I groaned, “I don’t feel like listening to this anymore”

He completely ignored me.

“At first he just put his finger on my knee. But then slowly his whole hand was resting on it and my heart was like  _ racing _ but obviously I kept my cool. But then I gave him this look and then glanced down at his hand and then shot my eyes back to his and bit on my lip a little bit,”

“Oh my god Yams, you’re such a flirt!”

“ _ I know right _ ? And then he moved his hand up to my inner thigh and at that moment I knew that I just had to have this man naked by the end of the night,”

They both busted out laughing. I maintained my deadpan expression.

“Wait this is the best part, he looked me straight in the eyes, leaned his head closer to mine like he was going in for a kiss, and at first that’s what I thought he was doing, but then just before he connected our lips, he moved his head to the side to whisper something in my ear,”

Suddenly I perked up,  _ I didn’t know about this part.  _

“Well what did he say?” Yachi eagerly asked. I was actually starting to get a little invested in this conversation, but just a little.

He then shot me a look, leaned into her ear and whispered something. Her face became flush and she smacked her hand on her mouth.  _ What the fuck? He wasn’t gonna tell me? Why couldn’t I know? I’m his best friend. Why does Yachi get special treatment? _

“What...I don’t get to know?” I spat.

“Hold on, I thought you didn’t care about this conversation,” he spat back.

“I _ don’t _ care about this conversation. But why does Yachi get to know and not me?”

“‘Cus she cares about what I have to say,”

“Can you just tell me?”

“Hmmmm...no,” 

“You’re not gonna tell me,”

“No,” 

“Seriously?” 

“Seriously,” 

_ Why is he such a brat?  _ I was so irritated with him at that moment my leg started to shake up and down again. 

“Whatever,” I mustered. I took my headphones out and placed them over my ears, completely giving up on the conversation. 

I unpacked my bag that was laying beside me and started to work on my homework for that day. Calculus...ugh. Putting my pencil to the paper I ran through the questions, not paying any mind to what was happening outside of my headphones. All that remained were my thoughts and the equations. I remembered back to all the years me and Yams were friends. How slowly we grew up and I began to understand what my feelings actually were. I missed the times where everything was so much simpler. Before the parties and the drinking and the boys. Back when I wasn’t so angry at him all the time. Well, I guess not angry but more worried. Who was I kidding?  _ Jealous  _ was the word I was looking for. I recalled our first time going to an  _ actual _ party with drinking and stuff. We were both  _ so _ nervous. I remembered Yamaguchi gagging after taking his first shot and how I flinched at the sensation of the warm alcohol trickling down my throat. We ended up having to leave super early because we both felt so awkward and out of place. I mean it made sense considering we both stood together in the corner not talking to anyone the whole time. That was a good night, a simple night, a night I wish we could go back to.

I was actually getting some good work done when I was interrupted. Next to my moving hand appeared another one with its own pencil. Slowly it began to sketch out a little doodle on the empty space of my paper. By now my attention was completely on the drawing instead of my questions. Line by line it began to take shape, first the body, then the tail, then the teeth. It was a dinosaur, of course, that had a speech bubble with “Sorry Tsukki” written in it. I looked up at the boy and met his apologetic stare. Yachi was now gone and it was just the two of us again.

Sliding my headphones off, I began, “You know it’s fine if you don’t want to tell me everything, but can you just not do it right in front of me?”

“Yeah…” he sighed, “Sorry, I just know you’re obsessively protective of me and I didn’t want you getting mad”

“Obsessively protective?!” I gawked.

“Come  _ on  _ Tsukki, you can’t deny that,”

“Well...uh...I’m not!” I argued, “Yeah I look out for you, but  _ obsessive _ ? Don’t you think that’s a little much?”

“Well what else would you call getting white knuckles every time I mention Yuji?”

“Being a good friend?”I retaliated.

“You are a good friend! You’re the best friend, you’re  _ my  _ best friend!” he gleamed, “Didn’t we already argue about this? Whatever. Anyways, I think I’m staying over Yuji’s house after the party, so you get to have the bed to yourself for once,”

_ What?  _ No, no, no, no, no, this couldn’t be happening. My stomach churned as I pictured  _ him _ with his hands wrapped around Yams as they slept. 

“Staying over? You barely know this guy!” 

“ _ Tsukki, _ come on, do we have to argue about everything today?”

“I just don’t think that’s a good idea,”

“And why’s that?”

“Because you don’t know him!”

“This right here is an example of you being overly protective. I can make my own decisions,”

I sighed, “Whatever, you’re right. Just be cautious I guess,”

“There you go,”

God if you’re up there, like really up there, kill me right now. You’re telling me that I had to go to this party that I didn’t even want to go to in the first place and wasn’t going to be able to spend any time with the person I went there for? At least the other times Yamaguchi always spent the night and we got to hang out for a bit the next day. But this, no. I was not okay with this. I squeezed the side of my thigh trying to relieve some of the anger that built up inside of me. 

_ Brringg!  _ The bell. Lunch was over. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all! i tried to make this chapter a little longer cus i feel like the other ones cut off a little early? idk. anyways, i had so much fun writing Yachi and Yams' catty gossip so i hope u guys had fun reading it...all being said, i hope everyone likes this chapter and is looking forward to Teru's party...see you soon <3


	5. Chapter 5

My bed hugged my sides as I laid and stared at my bedroom ceiling. The crisp air outside washed in through my windows as I stayed in that place of silence. I scanned the area surrounding me, it being the same since I was a kid. White walls, beige carpet, shelves with books stacked on top. I stared at my dinosaur figurines and their still plastic eyes stared back.  _ How lame.  _ Good thing Yamaguchi was the only person who saw my room, it was too lame to show to anyone else. He would be here soon, 8 o’clock is what we agreed on, but of course, it was already close to 9. I had come to terms with going to Terushima’s party and the thought of it didn’t make me sick anymore. At the end of the day, I just wanted to have a good time, with Yamaguchi or not. I played with my fingers as I patiently waited, picking at the skin on my nails. 

I was in my usual attire; purple sweatshirt and dark wash jeans. I knew it would be a stark contrast to whatever Yams was going to show up in soon. I closed my eyes, still waiting for him. The darkness was welcoming, and released some built up tension in my head. My ears perked up as I heard my door creak open. I heard a shuffle and felt my bed dip as someone sat down.

“Tsukki, wake up, I’m here,” he whispered while lightly shaking my leg.

“I wasn’t sleeping,” I responded, now opening my eyes.

I looked him up and down, admiring the effort he put in. A black skirt hung a few inches above his knees with a black graphic crew neck tucked into the waistband. Black fishnets stretched perfectly against his thighs and big chunky sneakers covered his feet. A silver chain clung delicately around his neck while matching silver earrings hung from his ears. The whites of his eyes were stark against his heavy black eyeliner and lashes while his cheeks glowed a baby pink. He looked...perfect. 

“Well, do you think he’ll like it?” he asked, rubbing a nervous hand up his arm.

“Yeah, you look really good,” I breathed out, not being able to take my eyes off his thighs. 

He laid down next to me, hanging his feet off the edge to keep his shoes off the bed.

He sighed, “I’m really nervous,”

“Don’t be, tonight’s gonna be fun. We’ll drink, and dance, and you’ll get to see Terushima again,”

“Yeah, I know I’ll be fine once we get there but I’m still just a little anxious,” he leaned into me, “I know it’s not, but this party kinda feels like a first date, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess I know what you mean,”

We laid there against each other for a little while in silence and that’s how I could tell how nervous he really was. Normally, Yamaguchi was eager to leave and basically dragged me out of the house, but this time it felt like he never wanted to go. It was getting late however, and I didn’t want to keep my mom up much longer. 

“Come on, let’s get going,” I started to say while getting up. 

“Okay,” he sighed. 

-

The car ride was mostly silent, give or take a few words exchanged about the weather. Again, it was clear how anxious Yams was by the way he silently sat in the back of my mom’s Honda. 

“It’s the house on the corner,” he motioned to my mother. 

“Ok, you boys stay safe and have a fun night, Yamaguchi you’re not staying over?”

“Not tonight unfortunately, don’t miss me too much!”

They giggled and said their goodbyes. I waved a hand to my mother as we parted and turned to walk next to Yamaguchi. I watched as his eyes darted all over the place as we made our way to the front door. I stretched out an arm around him for reassurance and nothing more.  _ At least let me hold him once tonight _ . 

Walking through the entrance we were hit with the smell of sweat and beer. The room was packed with so many people I thought the walls were going to bust open . But then there he was. He stood out in the room as if he were glowing. When he locked eyes with us- or should I say Yamaguchi- a smirk grew on his face and he began to make his way over. Yamaguchi ripped himself from beneath my arm and ran towards him, greeting him with a big welcoming hug. 

“Hi!” Yams gleamed while flashing his big doe eyes at him.

“Hey,” he said back, not acknowledging me.

“It’s so nice to see you,”  _ again with those eyes,  _ “I’ve missed you”

“Is that right?” he teased, “I couldn't stop thinking about your pretty face” 

He traced a finger along Yams’ jawline and burned a stare into his eyes. Terushima then leaned down to whisper in his ear, 

“Did you dress up for me?”

“No…” Yams whined.

“Don’t play dumb, you know exactly what you’re doing,” he hungrily looked Yams up and down, “I don’t know how long I can wait”

I cleared my throat, making the both of them snap out of each other's trance. 

“Oh...Yuji, you remember Tsukki right?” he said, trying to break the awkward tension.

“You know, I don’t think we’ve officially met,” he said with a tinge of sarcasm, “I’m Terushima, nice to meet you Tsukki”

“Tsukishima,” I said while shaking his hand.

“What?”

“It’s Tsukishima,” I coldly repeated. 

“Tsukishima...got it. Anyways, how’s Karasuno’s season so far?” he said, trying to stir up some conversation.

“We’re making our way there, nothing’s perfected yet but it will be soon,” I answered bluntly. I didn’t want this conversation to go any further and planned on that being where it ended but accidentally made eye contact with Yams. His wide eyes basically spoke out,  _ be nice.  _

I rolled my eyes and begrudgingly continued, “How’s yours?”

“Oh, we’re doing great and having so much fun. Something about just throwing yourself into a game without any pre planning or complicated strategies just feels so free and energizing you know?”

“No actually, I wouldn’t know,” 

Right before Yamaguchi could shoot me another cold stare, I jumped at the feeling of a big hand swatting my back. 

“Tsukki, my man!” a voice sang out.

I turned to face the boy behind me. Of course, it was Kuroo. His hair stuck up in all directions and he was in a plain t-shirt with some grey sweatpants. 

“Hey,” I responded in my normal low monotone voice. 

“Come on, let’s leave these two lovebirds alone and go get some drinks” he chimed, giving Terushima a wink. 

We made our way over to a table in the corner of the room and sat down, both of us with a beer in our hands. 

“So...uh...where’s Kenma?” I started, trying not to be so awkward. Again, this was my first time seeing Kuroo outside of volleyball and I was clueless on how to start a conversation with him.

“You know, parties aren’t really his ‘thing’”

“Yeah,”

“I try to drag him out every weekend but he insists on staying inside to play his stupid game,”    
“Yeah that seems to be in character for him,” 

“Heh...so how have you been my man, any new skills you learned without me?”

“Uh you know, just the usual stuff,”

“Been working on blocking?”

“Yeah a bit, but actually I’ve started to practice spiking,”

“Spiking?” he gasped.

“Yeah but I’m not very good,”

Just when the awkward flow started to pick up, we were interrupted by a familiar face- Akaashi.

“Akaashi? I didn’t know you were here!” Kuroo yelled while pulling him into a side hug.

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’m staying long. Bokuto’s already bouncing off the walls,”

“Bokuto’s here?” he practically yelped.  _ There goes my partner for tonight.  _

“He’s somewhere on this property, if you can’t see him, just listen closely,” and as if it were on queue, a faint “ _ hey hey hey!”  _ rang out in the distance. Kuroo jolted up and ran towards the voice, completely abandoning me.

“They’re like a couple of kids aren’t they?” Akaashi chuckled quietly.

“Yeah, I don’t know how you put up with Bokuto, he seems like a lot of work,” I responded.

He laughed, “Yeah, but you know I need him more than I put off,”

That made me think of Yamaguchi. It always seemed obvious that our relationship was one-sided. I was the one that made the decisions, I was the one who spoke, I was the one that protected Yams. But in reality, our relationship was almost perfectly balanced. Our friendship wouldn’t work without his loyalty and compassion for me. Also, contrary to what most people thought, Yams wasn’t helpless and lost. Most of the time I felt like he didn’t actually need me at all. I definitely needed him more than he needed me. 

“Hey, wanna smoke?” Akaashi asked while lifting his pack of cigarettes out of his front pocket. 

“Uh...sure,” I said while starting to walk outside to the front porch with him.

I had never even touched a cigarette in my life, what the hell was I thinking? And since when did Akaashi smoke?!

“Here,” he handed me the cigarette between his long fingers, I took it in between my thumb and pointer finger. He then held up his lighter to my face and sparked it. I placed it in my mouth and hung the tip in the flame, waiting for it to light.

“Uh, you have to breathe in to get it started,” he instructed. My face grew warm, I literally had no idea what I was doing. Taking a deep look into the flame, I began to inhale.

It didn’t feel like anything going in, it just felt like breathing in air. But as I breathed back out, the smoke scratched and scraped at my throat. A cough suddenly began to blurt out but I stopped it in its place and tried to play it off like I was just clearing my throat.

“So, how’s the season?” Akaashi asked, effortlessly blowing out smoke between his words.

“Nothing special or exciting, we’ve just been doing a lot of drills,”

In an effort to seem casual and cool I brought the cigarette back up to my lips, this time only breathing in for about a millisecond.

I started, “You guys doing goo-” I was interrupted with a coughing fit. My whole body began to tingle and my head felt a bit dizzy. My throat  _ stung _ as I coughed so aggressively spit dribbled off my bottom lip. But Akaashi didn’t seem to notice- or care. He just kept taking in his cigarette and painlessly blowing out the smoke.

_ It’s not that big of a deal Tsukishima, _ I reassured myself. I brang it up to my parted lips once more and sucked on the end, sending a cloud into my lungs. This time, it came out much smoother and the burning was bearable. Just as I thought I was getting the hang of it, a nasty sensation filled my body. I felt so- gross. I took a long look at the lit cigarette dangling in my hands and pressed it against the house, bending it in half and throwing it on the ground. 

“So,” Akaashi started, “What’s the deal with Yamaguchi and Terushima?”

“What do you mean?”   
“I just would never expect them to go together,” he said, “actually...I thought you two were together this whole time”

My face suddenly reddened. 

“What...uh...me and Yamaguchi? No...Why would you think that?” I stuttered.

“You guys are always all over each other,”

“Ok and so are you and Bokuto…” I deflected.

He didn’t respond, just bit his cheek and looked to the side.

After a quick silence I began, “Well to be honest I don’t think they’re a good pair either,” 

“You like him don’t you,”

_ Slap. _ It hit me like a brick. Why did he ask me that out of nowhere? 

“Mind your business,” I snapped back.

Again, he didn’t respond, just smirked at me and took another long drag on his cigarette. 

“TSUKKI!!” I jumped at Bokuto suddenly yelling in my ears. He reached an arm out and wrapped it around my shoulder to which I immediately snatched it off. He frowned, shuffled over to Akaashi and wrapped his big arms around him from behind.

“Yo, can I get one of those?” Kuroo asked Akaashi, motioning to his cigarette. He pulled out his pack and opened it toward Kuroo. As I watched them interact my attention suddenly switched back to Bokuto. His eyes were closed and his face pressed into Akaashi’s neck- wait no- he was  _ kissing  _ his neck.  _ What?!  _ I shot Akaashi a confused look and he again just smirked and looked away. Kuroo stepped towards the window while his face grew in confusion. 

“Hey Tsukki, what’s up with Yamaguchi?”he asked.

“What do you-” 

As I peared through the glass into the living room, I saw it. Yamaguchi was standing next to Terushima, one hand grabbing his arm and the other clasping firmly onto a red solo cup. His eyes were closed tight and his head swung low. His feet fumbled on the ground, trying to keep their balance. Without saying another word to anyone else, I darted inside.

“Yams, are you ok?” I worriedly asked. 

He said nothing, just kept his eyes closed and his head down. I reached for his cup but he moved it away and started to cradle it close to him. 

“Yamaguchi, give me your drink,” I demanded.

“Leave him alone,” Terushima snapped.

“Noone’s talking to you,” 

“Dude, just get out of here. Why are you always fucking bothering us?”

I decided to just ignore him.

“Yams, give me your cup,” 

He looked up at me with sad eyes and handed it over. Without even bringing it up to my face I could already smell how strong it was. Taking it to my mouth, I took the smallest sip I could. The quarter-sized amount of liquid burned my tongue and stung my throat.

“What the fuck is in this?” I yelled. 

“Just give it back,” Yams begged while reaching out to grab it.

“He was drinking that,” Terushima yapped, but he remained ignored.

“Who made this for you?”

No response.

“ _ Who made this for you?”  _ I repeated.

No response.

“Yams...Seriously now, who made this for you?”

He stared back at me with a child like worry.

“I don’t want you to be mad,” he whispered.

I shot to glare at Terushima.

“Why the fuck did you make this so strong? Are you trying to kill him?” 

“Dude, calm down, he asked for it like that,”

“Bullshit,”

“What? I thought you knew him  _ so well.  _ Don’t you know that’s how he likes it?” Terushima teased.

I laughed, “And I take it you think you know him better?”

“Here’s the thing, Tsukki. I have the ability to know him just like you do. But you know what? You’ll never get to know the side that I get to see. You’ll never know what he’s like when he’s right between your legs,” he chuckled. 

I could kill him. I could go up and  _ kill him.  _ I had never felt a rage quite like the rage that boiled beneath my skin in that moment.

“You better watch your fucking mouth,” 

He continued to laugh, “Dude, just get out of here. He clearly came because he wanted to see me, not you,” he raked a hand through Yam’s hair, “Isn’t that right?”

Yams smiled at him but then moved his eyes to lock with mine. They stung into mine,  _ get me out of here Tsukki _ . I started to grab his arm to pull him into me, but was stopped by Teru yanking him in the other direction.

“Come on, baby, let’s get out of here,” he smoothly sang.

“No, not right now,” Yams unsurely responded.

“Well what else did you come here for?” he asked.

“He already said no,” I spat.

Neglecting me, he started again, “Forget him, you came here to see me right? Let’s go somewhere quiet, I miss you”

This time I went right up to Terushima in order to look down on him.

“You think he wants to be with you?” it was my turn to laugh, “He’s basically running away from you right now”

He tried to pull Yams closer but I clasped a hand onto his arm.

“Oh my god, dude, you’re such a cock block,” 

“I feel so bad for you,  _ dude _ ,” I said in a low, condescending voice, “It’s like you can only think with your dick,” 

“Says  _ you,  _ the guy who gets all hot and bothered everytime Tadashi puts his delicate hands on me. Face it, Tsukki, you can’t stand it,” he started to tease, “ _ Tadashi, Tadashi, please look at me, please! Touch me like you touch him!”  _

My jaw fell open as I looked for the next thing to say, my face began to feel hot.  _ Damn you skin.  _

He let out a loud chuckle, “Looks like I’ve hit a sore spot,” 

I dug my eyes into him and pulled on Yams. He immediately released his grip on him, causing Yams to fall to the floor. 

“You can have him...his head’s not good enough for all this trouble,” 

I fell to the ground with him and took him in my arms.

“Take me home Tsukki,” he quivered, trying not to cry.

“Ok, come on I’ll help you up,”

I swung his arm over my shoulder and gripped his side as we began to make our way back to Akaashi and all them. I scanned our surroundings, now noticing the audience we'd attracted. 

“Tsukishima, oh my god, is he alright?” Akaashi worriedly asked. 

“We need to leave,” 

“I didn’t drink, let me take you,” he answered.

“That would be appreciated,”

Akaashi, Bokuto, Yamaguchi and I slowly started to make our way across the lawn.

“Wait-” Yams blurted.

He slammed down onto his knees and hovered over the ground. I cringed as I heard his vomit splat against the grass. I brought my hand to pull his hair off his face while rubbing his back. 

“Shhh,” I whispered, “It’s ok,”

He slowly rose, stumbled and then slammed against my body. 

-

I gently pulled Yams next to me as I sat down in the backseat of Akaashi’s car. Bokuto slammed the passenger side door closed as Yams laid down in my lap, snuggling my waist. I played with his hair, smoothing the strands between my fingers. 

The moon glowed bright in the night sky as I looked out my window. Soft sounds from the radio played in my ears as Akaashi and Bokuto whispered to each other faintly. Tonight was supposed to be a good night. Last party was supposed to be the bad one- not this one. We were supposed to drink and dance and Yams was supposed to see Teru. If Yamaguchi only went after good guys we wouldn’t be in this mess. Maybe that was unfair of me to think, but I couldn’t help but put some blame onto him. 

As we pulled up to my house, all the lights were out. I cautiously lifted Yams off of me as I made my way out of the car. Giving Akaashi all my thanks, I hauled Yamaguchi up to my front door and through my house. 

When we finally reached my room, he immediately sunk into my bed. I rummaged through my drawers, picking out something for him to sleep in. I tossed the clothes next to him on my bed.

“Come on, put on some pajamas," I motioned towards him. But of course, he laid there still. I sighed while I stepped over to him and buried my fingers underneath his waistband and pulled his skirt down his legs. Next, I peeled his tight fishnets off so that only his short briefs remained around his waist. Then, without stopping, I stripped his crewneck off to expose his bare chest. He laid sprawled out on my bed silently, his eyes only parted slightly. I shimmied my sweatpants onto him, letting my selfish eyes rest. Then, I gathered my sweatshirt around his neck and slowly let him pull his arms through. Thinking I was done, I glanced down at his face. I sighed,  _ his makeup.  _

I headed to the bathroom and ran a bunched up wad of toilet paper under the sink. Going back to him I began to rub to tissue against his eyes but only smeared the black stuff around. He scrunched his face as I began to rub harder. He brought his sleeve up and itched both his eyes, staining my sweatshirt. I gave up, remembering him comfortably sleeping in his makeup the weekend before. 

As I started to pull him under the blankets, he sat up.  _ Now you sit up?  _

“Tsukki?” his voice cracked.

“What is it?”

“I thought he liked me…” tears began to well up in his eyes, “I thought he really liked me”

“Shh, don’t cry Yams, please don’t cry,” I buried him into my chest.

“I really wanted him to like me,” he sobbed, “Why do none of them like me?”

“What are you talking about? Everyone likes you,” 

“No, they only like me when I give them what they want,”

I sighed, “Fuck those guys ok? You have so many friends and a whole team that would do anything for you,” 

“It’s not the same,” I could feel his hot tears soaking my shirt, “why don’t guys want to date me? Am I  _ that _ unlovable?” 

My heart sank.

“Please don’t say that, you know that’s not true right?” I stared into his eyes, “Those guys don’t deserve you. One day you’re gonna meet the right guy. He’ll be tall and handsome and everything you’ve dreamed about. And you two will fall in love,” I took his face into my hands, “And he’ll know that he’s the luckiest man to be alive”

A pain spread in my chest. This was me trying to let him go. This was me trying to come to terms with the fact that for once I wasn’t secretly talking about me.

He pulled me down to lay with him and began to fall asleep. He snuggled into my chest like he always does and closed his eyes. My heartbeat was the only sound that remained.

“Even if that guy isn’t me, you’ll find him,”

I only said that because I knew he wouldn't remember it by morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Sorry this took me so long to finish, I've been moving for the past two weeks :( But I made this one extra long to make up for it! Sorry this chapter was so sad...


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its literally been so long since I updated but I didn't want to give up on this story!! Anyways, here's some more bratty yams bc that's my favorite

The blanket held me warm in my bed as I began to wake up. The comforting weight on my chest caused me to glance down at the sleeping boy laying on it, soft snores escaping his parted mouth. I reached out to place my palm against his back and with that his face flinched with the sensation of being awoken. 

“Morning,” I said as he sat up next to me. He groaned in response while kneading his eyes with his fists. 

“Did you sleep well?” I asked.

“Mmhm.”

To be completely honest, he looked a mess. His hair was matted up and his eyes looked irritated and red from all the leftover makeup I failed to rub away last night. 

He flopped back down onto the mattress, covering his face in the crook of his arm. 

“Geez, how hungover are you?” 

“ _ Very, _ ” he mumbled. 

“You should shower, it’ll make you feel a bit better.”

“Ok.”

I swung my legs to the side of my bed and stood up, stretching my arms towards the ceiling. I shuffled over to my drawers to pull out a simple hoodie and dark wash jeans and held them out to Yams. He glared at the folded stack of clothes, then up at me, then back at the clothes.

“What?” I asked, a tinge of annoyance in my tone.

“Those are the ugliest pair of jeans I’ve ever seen.” 

“Really,” He was so unbelievable at times.

“No it’s fine, I’ll wear them I guess,” he said while rolling his eyes to the side.

“No, what would you prefer?” My flat expression said it all.

“Maybe...you know...like a cuter wash? The dark wash is giving me like...gamerboy vibes.”

“You literally play video games  _ all the time _ .”

“Yeah but like, I have a cat ear headset it doesn’t count.” 

I sighed and turned back to my dresser, rustling to the bottom to find the lightest jeans I owned. 

“ _ Is this better? _ ” I asked while tossing the clothes and a towel towards him.

“A bit.”

-

Still in my pajamas, I sat on my desk chair as the faint sound of the shower filled the background noise. I scrolled through my phone, looking at some of my teammates’ posts and clearing out emails. My attention was averted when a  _ ding _ blurted from my speaker. It was a message from Kuroo.

**Kuroo Tetsuro:** Hey, how is Yamaguchi feeling?

**Tsukishima Kei:** he’s better

**Tsukishima Kei:** just hungover lol

**Kuroo Tetsuro:** Happens to the best of us huh

**Kuroo Tetsuro:** Anyways, I was a little confused to see Yamaguchi with Teru. For some reason I thought you two were together

Uhh...what? First Akaashi and now Kuroo? Was I really that bad at keeping it to myself?

**Tsukishima Kei:** oh lol

**Tsukishima Kei:** yeah no

**Kuroo Tetsuro:** In that case, lmk if you would wanna hang again sometime

Was I overthinking this or was Kuroo subtly trying to ask me out. No. To be completely honest I had thought that him and Kenma were a thing. I slightly panicked, feeling a flush spread throughout my face. I liked Kuroo...as a  _ friend. _ But as anything more than that? It never even crossed my mind. I couldn’t imagine looking at him that way. He wasn’t soft or cute or gentle or fashionable or kinda bratty at times or always there for me since we were kids or the most perfect little face I ever laid my eyes on or...or...he wasn’t  _ Yamaguchi.  _ I decided to respond in a way that wasn’t too eager to lead him in the wrong direction but also wasn’t so blunt that it scared him off.

**Tsukishima Kei:** yeah, sure

A text bubble popped up on screen as I nervously waited for his response. Suddenly the bubble disappeared, stayed gone for a few seconds and then popped up again. What was he going to say? What if he tried to establish a date and time? What would I say then? Just as my thoughts were closing in, I jumped at my door being barged open. I turned to see my Mom in the doorway with a laundry basket in hand looking just as startled as I was.

“Oh sorry! I thought you were in the shower, I would’ve knocked,” she said sweetly, “in that case, who _ is _ in the-” 

Her sentence was cut off with a glance down at my floor. I hadn’t realized before but all of Yams’ clothes from last night were still sprawled out everywhere. His sweatshirt, his tights, his  _ skirt _ . Before I could clarify anything she had already set down the basket and was standing in front of me. She looked down at me and grabbed my shirt, examining it. 

“Is this...makeup smudged onto your shirt?”

“Uhhhh...yeah...” I responded, completely mortified.

“Did you have a girl stay over last night?” I could see the anger bubbling behind her eyes. But before I could smooth over the misunderstanding we were interrupted by another person at my door. 

“Oh, good morning, sorry about the mess!” Yams said as he began to pick up his clothes off the floor. To make things a little worse, there was still some black residue smudged on his lower lash line.

My Mom’s eyes shot to look at mine with a bit of a furrowed brow. She glanced back at Yams and then back at me, almost as if to silently ask what went on in here last night.

“Yamaguchi, I thought you couldn’t stay over?” 

“Uh...yeah...um...some things, um, how would you put it? Escalated? And I ended up staying with Kei anyways,” he said uneasily while locking wide awkward eyes with me.

I didn’t think he could make the situation any worse and just then he proved me to be so wrong. Without another word, she looked back at me one more time and left us alone. 

“Could you act any more suspicious?” I asked, completely annoyed.

“What do you mean?” He responded, of course, oblivious to the situation he had just stumbled into.

“She like totally thinks we’re dating now or something,” I blurted back.

“Oh my god, no! Why would she ever even think that?”

Ouch.

“What? Am I really that repulsive to you?” I said, trying not to sound too serious.

“No, it’s just that you’re...Tsukki. I can’t date my best friend!” 

And there it was, the one thing I never wanted to hear.

“She probably already forgot, you’re fine,” he reassured me, moving to sit down on my bed.

I glanced down at my phone, Kuroo’s response waiting neatly in my notifications. I unlocked it and tapped on my messages.

**Kuroo Tetsuro:** Ok, just lmk ;)

Winky face emoticon? Oh god, he really  _ did _ like me. As I glanced up from my phone, I was met with a pouting Yamaguchi. 

“What?” I asked.

“...nothing,” he said while looking to the left.

“Come on, what is it now?” 

“Well…Yachi asked me if I wanted to get an early lunch with her today…” 

“Oh.”

“But I told her that I was hanging out with you and she suggested that we could all go tog-”

“No no no no no,” I interrupted.

“Stop it Tsukki! Yachi is so nice!”

“Yeah, and  _ so annoying _ .”

“Well I think it’s annoying that I can only hang out with you alone!”

“Not true. Sometimes we hang out with Kageyama and Hinata.”

“Yeah, and I have to listen to you guys fight the whole time. Don’t you think that that’s annoying for me to listen to? ‘Cus it is. But I put up with it because I like hanging out with you guys!” he argued.

“Well at least all four of us have things in common. All you and Yachi do is gossip about boys.”

“Well maybe if you’d take that stick out of your ass you could join us. You never talk to me about your lovelife.”   
Suddenly I began to feel red. “ _ Maybe I never talk about it because I get all flustered like this”  _ Is exactly what I wanted to say to him. But Yams did have a bad night last night and maybe me going to some stupid lunch date would make him feel a little better. Sometimes I’m not an asshole.

“Ok whatever, I’ll go,” I said, trying not to be too enthusiastic. 

“There’s the sweet Tsukki I know,” he said kindly, then began to type away on his phone.

I took a moment to scan my room around me, letting my eyes drift from object to object. Of course, my gaze landed on my trusted childhood dinosaurs. To think, they had been there all this time. They had seen me sit alone on my bed at the darkest hours, staring at the ceiling fantasizing about what could and couldn’t be. They watched him come over, time and time again, and saw me sit there hopelessly longing for him, but never do anything to change it. And they’ve probably have had to sit there and think about how pathetic I was, letting him drag me along like that. I stared into their plastic eyes, a tinge of hurt spreading in my chest.

“Ok, let’s get going,” Yams interrupted, breaking my daydream.

-

The cafe we settled on was generously packed with people but we managed to slide into a table at just the right moment. I poked around at my food while the other two, of course, chatted away; feeling completely left out. 

“Hinata literally  _ never _ hangs out anymore, he spends all his time with Kageyama!” the blond girl exclaimed.

“Ugh, they’re like totally in love or something,” Yams responded while rolling his eyes.

“Wait, you think so?”

“Ummmm...do you have eyes?” 

“All they do is bicker,”

“Yeah,  _ like a married couple _ ,”

She gasped, “Oh my god, you’re so right!”

The time could not have been going any slower. I made my own entertainment, looking at all the wall art and fellow coffee drinkers around us. A woman sat with her child, a man with a mustache typed away at a keyboard, a couple shared a blueberry muffin.

“So I forgot to ask, what ever happened between you and that Teru guy?”

Suddenly my ears perked up.

Yams sighed, “Yeah...it didn’t really work out.”

“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that Yams. What happened?”   
“Nothing much, he was just kind of a douchebag you know?”

I sat there aghast. So  _ now  _ he finally admitted what I had been saying all this time? After all the times he fought and denied it, to say it so plainly was so strange to me. I guess he really  _ was _ hurt after all. I had thought last night had just been an alcohol-induced dramatic episode.

“So Tsukki, any guys or gals on your radar lately?” Yachi asked, trying to include me into their conversation.

Eh, what the hell.

“Maybe a little bit…” I said in response.

It was like I had told them I got engaged or something. At the exact same time, they both gasped, blinked their wide eyes at me and shouted out, “Who?!”

“I mean it’s really actually nothing…”

“Well now you have to say it,” Yams demanded.

“I don’t want to overthink it or anything but I think Kuroo tried to ask me out this morning.” I confessed.

Again with the dramatics, Yachi and Yams both blurted out, “What?!”

“Seriously, don’t make a big deal out of it,”

“Well did you say yes?” Yachi questioned.

“Yes...kind of...I don’t know. Forget I said anything,” 

“You said yes?” Yams bluntly asked. 

There was something in his tone that was unusual for him.

“I mean, not really a  _ yes,  _ I just sorta left it on an open note I guess,” I backtracked.

“Do you like him?” Yachi interrogated.

“No, he’s not really my type,”

“Type?” Yams asked, his eyebrows perking up.

“I don’t know…” I answered, unsure of how to respond.

“No, go on. What’s your type?” His tone was getting more blunt now.

“I said  _ I don’t know _ ,” I responded, annoyed. 

“Well obviously you know because you just said it.” 

I shot a look over to Yachi, who was already giving me the same confused expression back.

Turning back to Yamaguchi, I spoke, “I don’t really know my type, I just know that it’s not him.”

Meanwhile, I was staring directly into my type’s big hazel eyes.

-

The light lunch ended on a higher note after switching our conversation to discuss the volleyball season. After saying our goodbyes to Yachi, we headed back to my place.

“So...what are you gonna do about Kuroo?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Why are you bringing him up again?”

“I’m just curious,” he said plainly.

“I don’t want to talk about it,”

“Whatever,”

Ever since I brought up Kuroo, a switch seemed to go off inside Yamaguchi. He bit at his cheeks, tapped his fingers repeatedly and would not stop rolling his eyes. Was Yams...jealous?


End file.
